This is only a test…

by shitfiresavematches

So I’m a recovering alcoholic, right? And my boyfriend is out of town for the week and I work from home. Needless to say my social skills are lacking, but I do crave friendship. To fill some made-up hole, I went drinking last night. I checked my bank statement when I woke up (at noon) and evidently spent $100 at two restaurants – mostly on booze. For some that may sound reasonable, but I now have $150 left in my account. I really needed to get some things from Target.

I thought I had this under control and I feel lousy that I’ve “relapsed” since Tim’s departure. He would be so upset that I’ve been smoking inside and the bedroom now looks like a war-zone. I sleep with a beer on the ground and an ashtray next to my pillow. It reminds me of old times in the worst way.

But other than the last day or two, things are bad-ass. I’m discovering myself and it’s foreign and I’m questioning everything from my career choices to my sexuality; I couldn’t be happier. I’ve enrolled at Second City (despite it being a large chunk of change) and want to get back into being a vivacious person like I used to be.

Now here I am surrounded by empty cans of Tecate and wondering what I should do with the rest of the day. It’s 7p.m., but I’ve been considering leaving since 3. I’m going to pet my cats now. To anyone who reads this – I’m sorry.