Dante’s Pizza*

by shitfiresavematches

I’m writing this from Dante’s Pizza. It’s right across the street from me and I probably come here way too often.


When I first moved to Chicago, Tim and I ordered delivery from here, and there was a piece of cardboard in our pizza. We were disappointed, but took out the cardboard, and ate the pie.  Since this place was so damn close and sold my favorite food (pizza. Duh) , we decided to give it another try. So far our first visit was also our worst.


I think the problem here is that the food is so good, that every time it sucks, it really sucks. I also love that it’s BYOB. I got here about 3 hours ago and had a slice of cheese pizza. As I walked in, one employee was just leaving, leaving one guy here alone, so I ordered a single slice of cheese to be done with it and not make my order a big deal. Of course I brought my own 6-pack of Tecate and am now on #4.


They play a lot of metal music here, which isn’t really my thing since I like to understand lyrics. They were playing Kenny Rogers earlier, though, which was enjoyable. I just wished they had turned down Meloncholia when it was on the television (I’ve never seen this, just saw the credits as it ended).


I’ve always thought the people here were a bit snooty (they’re white hipsters), but it seems like the more I come, the friendlier they are, which still makes them jerks to me. The delivery guy who sometimes doubles as a cashier is friendly as hell, though. I like that. I wish the ladies weren’t especially so condescending and ostensibly unhappy. I mean, sure, working in customer service sucks…. I know. But when I worked in the service industry, I was only a jerk to people who confused me for a maid, and not to anyone else.


Anyway, I felt a little close to the solo guy working here when Kenny Rogers was playing cause it was a sweet song and I’m an emotional person and was wondering if he felt as whimsical as I did hearing the lyrics. Another female employee did show up and immediately complained to her lone coworker about a guy she had just spent time with who talked about sports too much. She lamented how much she didn’t give a fuck and her co-worker agreed and made some other disparaging remark about this sports fan he didn’t even know.  Personally I have more against people who talk badly about others behind their back.

If I were her I would have told the sports nut that I don’t like sports… at least he’d know. It’s not like I expect everyone I know to appreciate what I’m into, but a little perspective would be nice, ya know, so one can’t go talk about how much I suck for talking about my interests. 


Then I had to hear them talk about a previous coworker who, as it turns out, had a Dave Matthews Band tattoo. Not that I have some soft spot for the band (although it was my first concert when I was 12 (thanks cousin Gloria)), but who on this earth has something against someone for the type of music they once liked and were silly enough to get a tattoo? In the story that was told, ‘lone boy’ went to a bar with her and told her to shut the fuck up when she tried to talk about music and then she never came into work again. The female employee here said, “Man, that sucks, but she should know better….” Better than what? EW, YOU JERK.

 But! I was super glad when I showed up today and the purse I left here 2 days ago was still here. THANKS, DANTE’S PIZZA. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

*written in notebook, transcribed.